You know you’re too rich when…

  • You consider “on sale” to be anything cheaper than the GNP of Cuba.
  • Your children are named after the Anchors on CNBC.
  • You’ve forbidden your daughter to shop at Wal-Mart for fear someone might see her.
  • When your checking account dips below $20,000, you go into “Frugal” mode…
  • …Frugal mode to you means buying one diamond bracelet at Tiffany’s instead of two.
  • When you fill out a survey, you can’t help laughing because the “Annual Income” box only goes up to $500,000 a year.
  • In the event of World War III, you could melt down your silverware and have enough pure silver to make it across the border and buy a small hut in the nether-regions of Canada.
  • The memories of you playing Barbie with your sister always include you buying up all the other Barbie’s houses (wardrobe included) and foreclosing on their mortgages.
  • You have “People”…
  • Your six year old knows what a hostile take-over is.
  • You schedule your workout in the gym based on what time “Mad Money” is on.
  • You know what EBITDA actually stands for.
  • The hardest decision you have to make all day is whether to put marble or hardwood floors in your kid’s club house.
  • When you start walking into Saks Fifth Avenue, the entire staff drops everything and starts screaming “They’re here! They’re here!”
  • You get depressed because you can’t afford a new car until your dividends come in… meaning you have to drive that old 2006 Mercedes S Class Sedan for another two months.
  • Your favorite hobby is translating the words “Estate Tax” into Hebrew looking for evidence that they are the sign of the Antichrist.
  • You own shares of Berkshire Hathaway (Class A – of course).
  • Your burn candles to Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger and pray that the Lord will increase their life until long after you, your children, and your grandchildren have passed away.
  • Your children are always playing monopoly… with real money.
  • You wear a monocle.
  • Everything you say gets back to the yacht club.

If you do do any of these things mentioned above call me but before you do I advise admitting yourself in for some serious help!



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